Pope's Testimony

I was born into a Buddhist/Animistic hilltribe village in the mountains of the Chiang Mai Province. I lived with my parents and older brother with all my extended family surrounding me. As the large majority in my village, my parents were farmers who primarily grew peppers and tomatoes as our source of income. As a kid, I showed a lot of promise, being diligent in my school and home work, I was a good athlete, and was a good citizen type of child. However, our village only offered school up until 6th grade after which we either quit school or had to continue our education outside of our village, typically in Chiang Mai City (about 85 miles away). My parents opted to send me to a Buddhist temple in Chiang Mai where I was a child monk, providing me with free education while making merit for my parents according to our Buddhist religion. Being at a vulnerable age and feeling hopeless and alone, I began turning to cigarettes, alcohol, and girls for comfort & love. One poor decision led to another until I was kicked out of the temple and sent back to my village. My addictions and the shame I carried led me down a deeper path of destruction. To add to this, the girl I had fallen in love with broke up with me when her parents arranged a marriage for her with another man. I was hopeless, full of shame, and desperately searching for love.

While still under the age of 17, I was arrested for stealing alcohol. Instead of pressing charges, I was sent to a rehab center. However, a few short weeks after being there, I ran away due to another patient threatening to kill me. I returned to my village still bound by my addictions and feeling more hopeless than ever. My life had no purpose and I smoke, drank, and did drugs to numb away the pain I felt. Buddhism couldn't help me, my brother and dad also resorted to drinking and smoking, and my parents were constantly fighting. 

At the age of 18, my brother went to Chiang Mai to fulfill his 2 year assignment with the Thai Army. During that time he met a pastor who was from the same tribe as us. This pastor eventually led my brother to the Lord. Upon getting saved and finishing his assignment with the military, my brother returned to our village, the first christian in Na Fon, to share Jesus with my parents and me. While my parents were eventually won over to Jesus by observing the incredible change they had seen in my brother, I resisted strongly. I was angry at my brother and parents for choosing christianity, despite the fact that my brother and parents were walking in freedom and I was bound by chains of depression, fear, and hopelessness. I had abused drugs and alcohol to the point that I was considered crazy in my village and my body was beginning to shut down. 

One night, I laid on the floor of my living room in our home throwing up bile from all the drugs and alcohol I had consumed. It looked like the end to my family as they began to plead with me to open my heart up to Jesus. My dad said to me, "Son, you are looking for love. Why won't you come to the God of love?" This struck me. I had never heard of a God of love. My brother followed, telling me, "Jesus is standing at the door of your heart, knocking. If you will open to Him, He will come in to your heart." I considered these two things my family said to me all night. The next morning I told my brother and parents I was ready to open my heart to Jesus. They prayed with me and then called the pastor in Chiang Mai. That day marked the beginning of my life.

Miraculously, I was able to drop drugs cold turkey and gave up alcohol within a few months. However, my addiction to smoking was not so easy. One evening, in a place of desperation, I began crying out to God for help. My cries led to sobs of deep pain. As I wept before the Lord I suddenly felt what I can only describe as a hand reaching in to my heart and slowly squeezing it. This happened about three times and then suddenly the deep aching pain I had been feeling lifted and in it's place I felt incredible joy. My tears turned into laughter as I felt joy and freedom for the first time. I never returned to smoking cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs ever again. Not fully understanding what had happened to me, I reached out to the pastor in Chiang Mai and shared my experience. He said, "Pope, that was God touching your heart!" 

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever." Ps. 30:11-12